Songfic: Slipped Away
by Mirandel Xevian
Summary: Everything is about to change after the car accident... This is really sad CamNik story including the song Slipped away by Avril Lavigne.


-1**Slipped away**

**Author: **Lazarina(Mirandel)

**Pairing**: Nikki/Cameron

**Genre**: angst, romance

**Rating**: PG

**Song**: Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne

**Summary**: Nikki and Cameron were having fun. They were driving by Cam's own car. But then happened something tragic… everything is about to change…

A/N: Italicized text is telling past. It's jumping from past to the present day all the time. Note: this is very sad fic about Nikki and Cameron! I'll tell you more at the end.

---

Wonderful night. Stars are sparkling in the sky. The sky is so bright and beautiful that you could nearly cry. I am sitting at the beach. Staring at the sky. Too beautiful. Too sad. It reminds me of the night that shouldn't be happened. I do remember all. We were sitting right here before the all changed…

_**Na na, na na na, na na  
I miss you, miss you so bad  
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad  
I hope you can hear me  
I remember it clearly**_

"_Isn't it beautiful?" I asked him. He looked at me and smiled so gently. _

"_Yes it is. But it wouldn't be so beautiful if you weren't with me", he, Cameron, said. He embraced me and kissed my lips. So soft and warm. So protecting and passionate kiss. But everything ends. So did the kiss. "I love you, Nikki. I really do." He said it many times and kissed me again and again._

"_I love you, too", I said and kissed him tenderly. I went on: "It's late. Let's go home." _

I stand up. I walk towards the street. There are no cars or any traffic. It's very late. And so cold and dark. But I only can feel the tears on my cheek. Just week ago, we were walking along this beach and towards your car. Our fate. I stop. Can I walk there? Can I walk there and see all the pictures and flowers that remind me of you? I just can't forget you! Whatever happens I'm not going to forget you!

_We were in the car. It wasn't moving yet because he was kissing me. So passionately. Wanting more and more. Never wanting to stop. I could feel his gentle hands around me and your love everywhere. But I needed to go home. I promised to my aunt. _

"_I'm serious. I promised. Let's go somewhere tomorrow, okay?" I asked and he was agree._

"_Okay! What about the flower field, you know that place? There are lots of orchids! I think they're my favorites!" Cam said and I was agree. Yes, the orchids were my favorites, too, and it would make it better to watch them with someone I love. Romantic, isn't it? And how many boy does like flowers?_

_Cameron started to back the car. He was sure that there wouldn't be any car at this time. _

I see them. Flowers and pictures about you. I kneel down to watch pictures. That smile. It hurts so much. My heart is bleeding. I can remember it all. Too clearly.

_**The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Ooooh**_

_I heard the voice. We were middle of the street and I heard how the huge trailer truck came towards us. Cameron didn't see it. I tried to scream but it all happened too quickly. _

"_CAMERON!" I screamed and the scream echoed until now. I didn't even hear breaking glass or your screaming. I just felt pain. Dreadful pain that was killing me and you. The car was laying upside down on the street. But I was still alive. Blood. There was blood everywhere. I turned to look at Cameron. Your head was bleeding, your hands were bleeding and I saw the pain in your eyes. You raised your hand towards me. "Cameron… no…", I was terrified. I knew what was going to happen and I tried so hard to do something but… there wasn't way to help. He smiled and cried quietly. _

"_Nik… you're beautiful. I'm… sorry… I love… you", he said weakly and his eyes closed. And I felt it. I felt how his powers just slipped away. I was about to cry but I lost my powers and I couldn't feel, see or hear anything. Just like I would have slipped away. _

_**Na na na na na na na**_

I didn't get around to kiss you  
Goodbye on the hand  
I wish that I could see you again  
I know that I can't

_The hospital. I was waking up and smelling hospital's typical smell. I opened my eyes. I remember what happened. But I'm trying to forget. _

"_Nikki!" I heard Ava's voice. I turned to look at her. I saw many faces. There were Ava, Bradin, Derrick, Johnny, Susannah and Jay. But I couldn't see the face I wanted to see the most. Cameron's face. "Thank god, you're alright! We were so worried!" _

"_Cameron… what about Cameron!" I said crying. They all looked sad and it was enough to tell me. "No. NO!" I cried. I knew this answer. You were gone. But then Bradin said: _

"_Nikki, he's not dead yet."_

"_What!" _

"_He's there", Bradin pointed the boy next to me. He was Cameron. But not Cameron I knew. There were bandages around you, around your arms, your legs, your stomach and your head. You were suffering. _

_I raised my hand towards you hoping you could wake up. But you didn't. I didn't hear your breathing. I didn't even feel you around. Though they said you're still alive, I couldn't feel you anywhere but in my heart. And it hurt. It hurt to watch you knowing you will never open your eyes again. _

I can still feel you around me but I can't see you. It doesn't matter how hard I try to see your smiling face and eyes again, because you're not going to show yourself again.

**Ooooooooooooh**

**I hope you can hear me  
Cause I remember it clearly**

_"May I go to him? Please!" I asked. They let me go, but I needed crutches. It was painful to walk. My right foot was broken and my heart was making a suicide. There you laid. I wondered you're still alive and in pains. I sat on the chair and let the crutches fall down. I raised my hand to stroke your cheek. _

_"Cameron. Why don't you just wake up? Just like I did. Please, Cameron", I cried. "Please, Cameron, open your eyes and smile at me. Cameron!" I cried and I couldn't stop touching his face. _

_"Let's let them be alone for a while. Is it okay, Nik?" Bradin asked. I nodded and couldn't take my eyes off you. I only heard the door's voice behind me and then I couldn't stop crying. _

_"Cameron! We would have to gone to the field today! We promised! Why did this all happen! Please, Cameron! Wake up! Hear me!" _

Just some minutes later I'm on the field. Flowers are flowering but sun isn't shining. Raindrops fall down on me. I feel cold but it isn't caused by the rain. It is caused by the loneliness and sorrow that you left to me. I remember it all. Every moment until forever.

**_The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same  
Ooooh_**

_"Nikki?" suddenly I could hear your voice. You were calling my name but it sounded like someone has forced you to say that. _

_"Cameron? Are you up?" I said hoping you were alright. You opened your eyes but only a little. I could feel your hand on my own. With your last powers you said:_

_"Nikki… please, come with me. Let's go to the field together. Just… close your eyes… and…don't let go." You said that all and then… then you just closed your eyes. You wasn't breathing but I could still feel your weak powers holding my hand. Maybe… right now… though I still felt his warm, I could feel… you was gone! _

_I cried so hard. He were the only one in my life. I was always dreaming about perfect love and now my beloved was dead. And you woke up for a few seconds just to say those words to me. Maybe you were meaning them. I needed to do as you wanted. I closed my eyes and held your hands. I was about to sleep. Maybe you're there in my dreams. Waiting for me. Waiting for saying words you couldn't say because your body didn't allow it. I was sure of it. I wasn't letting go. _

_**I've had my wake up  
Won't you wake up  
I keep asking why  
And I can't take it  
It wasn't fake it  
It happened you passed by**_

I go down to look at the flowers. Many of them are some blue orchids that are dying. But the one of them is pure white and shines like a star. It makes me cry. Why did I wake up? Why did you wake up just for a while and take me to this beautiful place with you? But… why!

_The light was rounding me when I fell asleep. It didn't hurt my eyes because your light would never hurt me. Somehow I just felt that the light was caused by you. By your dreams which took me into the field. The sun shining and wind was blowing. I can see you're standing in front of me. Without bandages, broken arms and legs, and without the scars that you had. You smiled at me and raised your hand. _

_"Cameron?" I didn't know what to say but at the same time I felt sad and happy. I was so happy to be able to be with you once again and on the field that didn't get the end. But I knew it could be only a one moment and then… you'll be gone again. _

_"Don't be afraid, Nikki. I'm sorry I need to go. But not forever. I will miss you… so I really wanted see you and keep my promise", you came to me and stroked my face and hair. I was about to cry but your smile made me even try to smile. "I love you, Nikki." you kissed me. Just like before we got a drive! Passionately and tenderly. I just wanted to kiss you more and more. I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet and live without you. But it ended. The kiss ended and you backed from me still holding my hand. I wasn't going to let go. I promised! But your eyes told I should. _

_"No, no… Cameron. I love you, too! Please, don't leave me!" I cried. You sighed and smiled sadly._

_"I won't", you said and closed your eyes. The light got brighter and made you invisible. And then… _

_"NOOOO!" I screamed and fell down on my knees when I saw how you disappeared. Everything you had left, was the white and bright orchid. _

I cry on my knees and look at the white flower on the field.

_**Now you're gone  
Now you're gone  
There you go  
There you go  
Somewhere I can't bring you back  
Now you're gone  
Now you're gone  
There you go  
There you go  
Somewhere you're not coming back**_

It really happened. I wasn't dreaming. You really are gone now! I can see it…

Two years we spent our time together and helped each others. When your dad got drunk I was afraid he was going to kill you. Of course he wasn't going to do that but I did my everything to save you because I loved you. And I think I saved you but this time… I couldn't! Why couldn't I save you? And this time I can't even bring you back! I can still see how you're laying there in the car. Bleeding and praying. And saying you love me. Before it mattered but now it feels like that nothing matters.

I'm just waiting. You're gone. I know! But what am I supposed to do! I'm so empty that only you can make me think or do something. But at the same time you're making me worse. I touch the flower. The light is still shining and bringing your message:

"I'm waiting. Because I'm not going anywhere without you."

But it wouldn't change anything. You're still gone though I get a feeling that your soul still lives in the flower. If the flower wasn't you, I would take it. But now it's you… so I can't take you away from your heaven. Whatever I take it or not, you won't come back.

_**The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found  
It won't be the same  
Oh**_

_The funeral. It was raining. The tears of the heaven. The heaven was crying with me and the others. It didn't stopped. _

_There was a pictures of us on your casket. I don't know who took it but I found it on my table. But somehow I felt how did it come there. Though it sounds crazy. The picture is from that flower field that was full of the orchids. The place where we were in our dreams. _

Now I'm holding the brightest and the most beautiful flower on the field. The rain is about to stop, in the end. And when it's about to stop, you're losing your light. I'm shaking. I won't let go! I promised! I won't let you lose your way! You need your light and love! You're fading away. The light is getting weaker and your body is losing it's powers.

"No… no…", I'm about to start crying again. You just slip away. The lights are off, your powers are dead and… you're gone. "Cameron!" I scream and cry when feeling the first sunray. The light that hurts my eyes.

_**Na na  
Na na na na na**_

I miss you

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A/N: It's sad, I know. I'm always writing memory- fictions and this one is written for my dead friend, Eetu. Well, this only reminds me of it. It happened in summer 2002 when I was 12. I was having fun at my summer cottage. But then we needed to return home. Just some days ago I read an article that told about the boat accident that killed young 11- year old boy and 2 adults. And then in the morning I was told that my best friend from 1993 was killed by that accident! I wanted to cry but the tears didn't come. It was terrible but when the school began I cried really hard! I couldn't go to the lessons because I didn't want to see the empty deck in the class. He had usually been late but this time he didn't come back. And how did I get over it? By writing! So if you say this is sad, you'll make me glad! And see, I'm from that small country named Finland and English isn't my mother tongue. But my English is B+. So if you understood anything, I'm veeeeery happy!


End file.
